Catholicae Testudines

Document on homosexuality you may have been hearing about in the news lately

By way of Zenit, the instruction "Concerning the Criteria for the Discernment of Vocations with Regard to Persons with Homosexual Tendencies in View of Their Admission to the Seminary and to Holy Orders," published today by the Congregation for Catholic Education, which oversees seminary formation.  It's short, and you may want to hear it from the horse's mouth before you hear the media spin it like a top.

Also from Zenit, some commentary from someone who ought to know:
the prefect of the Congregation for Catholic Education, Cardinal Grocholewski.  Like he says, if you're already familiar with Catholic teaching on the issue, there should be no surprises for you.

Krapp Piece

Have you ever read Samuel Beckett's play Krapp's Last Tape?  I had to for my English class today.  I think that the play could serve reasonably as an allegory for the modern Zeitgeist.

Krapp is a failed writer who is now a drunken old buffoon.  He has become so excessively self-introspective that he is isolated and shut into himself.  It does not make him happy, but his reaction is to close the circle even tighter.  In fact, he decides that happiness is not what he wanted after all.  He is obsessed with his past, yet he vehemently rejects everything he once stood for, so vigorously and completely that he can no longer even remember the significance of the words and symbols he clearly used to think were so important.  He hates that "stupid bastard" he used to be, who used to think all these things were so important that he now despises (and who was the one who got to pick what memories were passed on to his future self to be remembered).  After a certain point in his life, he enters into a mindset in which at every important change in his life he so rejects who he was, convincing himself that he was foolish then, too, but now he knows what's really important, until he is a used-up old man who can only make tapes about listening to tapes and tell himself that maybe now he's got it.

Bottom Ten List

From all the rumors I hear about blogs, you're supposed to complain about things non-stop.  Looking back at my posts over the last few weeks, I obviously haven't been keeping up with my quota.  Therefore I am pleased to bring you my "'Bottom Ten List' for the 'Holiday Season.'"

#10.  When people sing that Chipmunk Christmas song.
Really.  It's only cute when little kids sing it.  Or, to be more accurate, it's only tolerable when little kids sing it because of their cuteness.  Otherwise it just sounds whiny and annoying.  If you're going to sing a "Christmas" song that is devoid of even a hat-tip to religion besides the word "Christmas", at least make it one like "White Christmas" that doesn't grate on my nerves or focus on getting and receiving things.  "Please, Christmas, don't be late."  Even the Grinch realized that Christmas still comes even if the presents don't.  Worst of all is when the person singing it feels obligated to sing it in an annoying, shrill voice in an attempt to simulate the chipmunk voices.

#9. Frosty the Snowman's weird creepiness.
Is he supposed to be a Christ figure or something?  He's born without carnal intercourse, then he dies and comes back to life again.  Then he leaves, giving an almost eschatological promise to return at some unspecified day and hour.  But what's the deal?  I don't recall that his death really accomplished anything, and though he was a living being, he wasn't ever really human.  Unsettling.  I demand more accurate typology in my ostensibly non-religious children's holiday specials.

#8. People acting like "Chrismukkah" is a real thing that should be taken even semi-seriously.
What a dumb idea.  At least "Festivus" was absurd and preposterous enough that it was obviously making fun of a something.  You know what you get when you teach a kid that it's equally true that Jesus is the Messiah and isn't the Messiah, right?  An atheist.

#7. People who don't observe Christmas who get all prickly when you wish them a merry/happy Christmas.
If I lived in a country where 80% or more of the people were Muslim, and I didn't walk around all the time in my shirt with the big papal crest on it, somehow I don't think I'd get all annoyed every time someone wished me a happy Ramadan during that time of year.  Fine, you can have a grim Christmas instead if that's what you'd prefer.

#6.  People acting like Christmas started before Halloween, especially the ones who are then sick of Christmas stuff by Dec. 26.
And no matter how much you hear people complain that it didn't happen that way when they were kids, my hometown newspaper, the Aegis, reports that in 1955 people were complaining about how stores tried to kick off the Christmas season decidedly before T-day.  But I suppose you wouldn't buy as much stuff during a penitential season because you were feeling all spiritual.  If I were in charge, department stores would have to put up Advent decorations such as Advent wreaths during Advent.  The ones that put their Christmas decorations up before Christmas Eve would face public disapproval (and maybe fines).  Since there's nothing wrong with Christmas presents themselves, and the economy is dependent on them, stores could still market their wares, but they'd have to advertise in a way that such preparations would remind people of spiritual preparations or at least not crowd them out.  Yeah, that'd work. 

#5. Um...not pigeons.
Especially not doves.  They're all right by me.

#4. When entertainers, in singing a Christmas song, overdo it on the rubato or other methods of jazzing it up, as though it would be boring otherwise.
I find that that gets old a lot faster than the original version of the songs themselves.  Typically these are the kind of song that wear well, or they wouldn't be back year after year.  But when they try to mix it up, they always seem to choose predictable and even stale variations.

#3.  A tv holiday special where a fictional character or entertainer "saves Christmas."
That only seems semi-normal to you because there've been so many.  Try this for any other holy day or feast from any religion.  How about "Ernest Saves Yom Kippur"?  "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer Saves the Feast of St. Elizabeth of Hungary"?

#2. People acting like Hanukkah is the Jewish equivalent of Christmas, or Kwanzaa the Black equivalent of Christmas.

And...#1. Sin.
That's never good.

Referrer log adventures

It'd been a while since I checked the logs to see what interesting searches have brought people to our neck of the cyber-woods, so I had a look today.

Someone came here searching for "learn recto tono chant."  Hey, that's real easy.  "Recto tono" means "on a straight tone," so pick out any one note (e.g. any one key of a piano) and proclaim the text with your voice undeviating from that one tone.  The only challenge is putting expression into your voice without changing the pitch as one usually does when talking.

I note that we are the #3 result for [Fr. Chris] "Saliga Dominican" and for "Veruca Salt," for which we come in only behind a Roald Dahl fan site.

Kickbutt Koreans

Some men will say that they bonded with their fathers playing catch. For others, it was fishing. Or maybe building something.

For me, it was TV.

Yep. Where some men's brains have stored the memory of their first beer with their dad, I have tucked away fond memories of late night B-movies.

So, it should come as little surprise to hear that most of my family bonding time this weekend was spent in the blue glow of the American cathode tube altar.

Indeed, several hours in particular were lost watching a PBS presentation of "The Immortal Yi Soon Shin" (also known as Yi Sun-Sin), a thoroughly captivating Korean television show (with often problematic subtitles) about a Korean leader responsible for repulsing invading Japanese at the battle of Imjin. Apparently, the series is around one hundred episodes long, and each episode ends with a gripping cliffhanger. Yi Sun-Sin is a philosopher soldier, kind of like an Asian version of General Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, but he must learn to redeem himself after the shame of defeat. Over the course of the series, he discovers that victory and dignity reside not in worldly greatness, but in letting go of pride and in denying oneself in service of a greater good. Best of all, it's like a sixteenth soap opera with samurai! I highly recommend it.

Prophecy

I just noticed that the town of Ephratha is identified in the Bible with Bethlehem (see, for example Gn. 48:7).

So with that in mind, that you can read "Bethlehem" for "Ephratha" now read Psalm 132.

We have heard of it in Ephrathah... Let us enter God's dwelling; let us worship at God's footstool.  Arise, LORD, come to your resting place, you and your majestic ark... The LORD swore an oath to David, a pledge never to be broken: Your own offspring I will set upon your throne.

Not so frail pope cracks down?

Recently the pope took some authority away from the Assisi Franciscans and gave it to the local bishop.  Some commentators have interpreted this as correction for their role in the debacle at Pope John Paul's 1986 prayer summit, or a pattern of behavior including said events. 

Of course this is not how it was phrased in the official version, but how would you interpret "the need to carry out a more effective agreement between the activities that are undertaken both in the Basilica of St. Francis (with the Sacred Convent) as well as in the Basilica of St. Mary of the Angels (and its Convent) and the pastoral endeavor of the Diocese"?

Don't expect the media to take notice of this one, because it doesn't have anything to do with sex.

Benefit pro-life activity just by surfing?

From Kelly Clark the Pew Lady I heard about this "Pro-life Search" thing.  It appears to be basically Google's regular search engine, with a few extra ads.  But anyway, it's run by two Catholic guys who are using the site to raise money for pro-life charities.  I figured some of my friends and readers would like this Go check it out.

How is that a bad idea?

I just learned from Mr. Bad Ideas that Pennsylvania is considering legalizing the use of the atlatl in hunting. 

In case you've never heard of an atlatl, it is a hunting weapon that dates back to prehistoric times.  I have heard that archaeologists have found atlatls dating back over 25,000 years.  It is basically a shaped stick that is used as a third-class lever to throw a fletched spear much harder and faster than can be thrown from one's bare hands.  You can get an idea of how this works from the illustration on the World Atlatl Association's website.

I don't really know all about the details of wild game hunting, but I suspect that most modern people do not wish to invest the amount of time necessary to have the skill to hunt effectively with an atlatl, so this law is not going to be a big deal, except for people who like to say the word "atlatl" and the relatively small number of dedicated atlatl enthusiasts.  It seems to me that if you were to hurl your atlatl into a herd of deer you might be likely to bring one down, but hunting one deer at a time (and that's what you would probably be hunting, since you probably can't aim one at anything much smaller unless your skill level is in the class of Mark Bracken, the world's premier atlatlist) would be quite a challenge.  I understand that bow hunting even with a compound bow is challenging enough, and an atlatl is a lot less efficient than a bow.  Archery is not that easy, and it's point and shoot by comparison.  You'd have to practice a lot to get your release point reliable enough to aim.  Then, when you actually went out to hunt you'd first have to stalk it skillfully in order to get close enough, since the spear is slower and less accurate than an arrow fired from a bow.  Then you'd have to wind up and hurl your spear at the deer without the deer bolting.  Mike tells me that deer can actually duck when they hear the noise of an arrow coming off the bow, and fast enough to avoid being hit.  Your only advantage with the atlatl is that deer haven't been shot at with atlatls since colonial times, so they might not be accustomed to it.  Still, you'll probably make some commotion inadvertently while laboring to chuck your projectile in its direction.

So if you can hunt a deer successfully with an atlatl, more power to you.  As primal manly feats go, feeding your family with the flesh of an animal you hunted yourself and killed with a paleolithic weapon has got to be up there somewhere.

And Mike, if you're interested, the WAA maintains a list of companies that make atlatls.  At a  price of between one and two hundred dollars, they might be kind of expensive for college students, but I wonder if you couldn't find one on eBay.

Good to know I have such devoted fans

I've noticed, Mike, that you haven't posted anything on your blog since before Halloween.  Maybe I'll have to stop by and leave some amusing comments.